to the tune of bubliki, swung as a Dixieland jazz number

G
It takes finesse and grace, a stewardess’s place,
G D
An ironed dress with lace, a frozen smile
C G
Try not to flinch when bastards try to pinch your ass
G D Em
Give them an inch and the rich perverts take a mile
To get an airline beat, it’s only fair to cheat
You’re gonna square up light a couple tons
You want to unionize? Then learn to use surprise,
Strike out some flights but never tell the boss which ones

It’s pandemonium, sheer pandemonium
They need each stone to fall right into place
if we just take a seat, we can kick up our feet
And watch the system turn to chaos in their face

You want to bag a trip, out on the Vegas Strip?
To try the scag, and things you’d never do
Make sure you’re on a line that has a contract signed
What happens stays there but now you’re staying there too
And so you hatched a plan to fly to Ketchikan

To get attached to nature, northern style
But your returning flight has been adjourned tonight
It’s time learn what can occur into the wild

It’s pandemonium, ruined the symposium
Ask the custodian if you can crash
Maybe he’s got a couch, if your checks are vouched
Might even drive you south, if you’ve got cash

When Donny played the clown, shut public payments down
Sarah Nelson said it wouldn’t fly
Unless you make a deal, we’ll bring the planes to heel
You want a shutdown? Well we know how to provide

It’s pandemonium, salty like sodium
She’s the Napoleon of US flights
‘Cause when the union walks, boy, we can screw your stock
We’ll rip it through to rock the parasites

A MAGA horde last night, they tried to board my flight
Some plague rat boar I’m sure was in the Klan
I found his Tinder home, had photos in the Dome
The FBI has got him in a party van

It’s pandemonium, he stole the podium
And now his odious ass is in jail
I don’t love cops you see, but better him than me
Just do my part to make the Q d’etat fail

They’ll try to fleece our sight and to police our fight,
But labor peace is rotting with the worms
To get a sweeter deal, keep the heat to their heels
We’ll get them beat before we sit to come to terms

It’s pandemonium, fire and petroleum
It’s not utopian, it’s just hardball
They can count their beans, but we can freeze machines
Until we seize the means and take it all